‘Do’ And Not ‘Tell’ Is Secret Of Better Parenting, Say Experts

Parents are always a role model for their kids and therefore it is better to perform rather than explaining things that you want them to do.

Parenting is to raise your children by providing them with all the care and protection required for their healthy development. But one must note that healthy development is not just about the physical growth of a child. It is also about enhancing their mental growth. Home is the best school for kids and parents. It, arguably, plays the most important role in character development of children.

Dr Puja Grover Kapoor – Paediatric Neurologist & Co-Founder Of Continua Kids.

According to Dr. Himani Khanna – Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician Director and Co-founders of Continua kids, and Dr. Puja Kapoor- Paediatric Neurologist – parents are always a role model for their kids and therefore it is better to perform rather than explain things that you want them to do. “Do things that you want to get done by them,” they said.

Here are excerpts of an interview with them on parenting tips to instill values and moral maturity in kids.

There Are No Right And Wrong In The Upbringing

Parenting is an experience of raising kids to turn them into well-balanced adults. It cannot be calculated or measured as either easy or difficult. It is a moment to be lived with your child without any expectations/ consequences with love, affection, and care.

So if giving unconditional love and your time is termed as difficult, then parenting is difficult. And if it is considered easy, then parenting is easy for you. Also, there are no right and wrong in upbringing. Something which is right in one circumstance would be wrong in other circumstances even with the same child.

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Secret Of Better Parenting – “Do” And Not “Tell”

For every child, their parents are their role models. The secret is “Do” and not “Tell”. You don’t have to describe the things to be done by them in words but rather perform them in action. They will definitely follow your performance, as parents are the eyes through which they see the world.

Their action/reaction to the world in the future is dependent on your present action and reaction to the situation. So just do the things as you want to get it done from them and give them the logical reasoning of your act.

Keep Eyes, Heart Open In Each Stage Of Parenting

Keep your eyes and heart open in each stage of parenting. A toddler needs your eyes for his physical activities and a teenager needs your eyes for his mental activities. For a toddler, try to tell more and ask less whereas for an adolescent, try to ask more and tell less.

An open heart is equally important to get to the right decision of what your eyes see. Although data collection through your eyes is a must but equally important is the processing of the data through the heart.

Dr-Himani-Khanna
Dr Himani Narula Khanna – Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician Director & Co-founder of Continua Kids.

Best Ways To Instill Values And Moral Maturity In Kids

There are multiple ways to introduce moral maturity and good values in kids. Empathy can go a long way. Any moral value from empathy, to being truthful, respectful, and understanding all need to be role modeled by parents in day to day lives for children to automatically imbibe them. It applies to us in our small daily interactions and an early example and habitual process of this can influence the child in a positive way.

Mental health has become an increasingly important matter in the last decade and the current youth are predicted to be “better parents” due to their better understanding of the consequences of mental health as it’s an environment they have been brought up in and the matter is taken seriously.

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How To Deal With Kids If They Are Not Paying Attention

Growing kids are seen to have a rebellious streak where they may not listen to their parents’ demands and the tasks given to them. When it comes to teenagers, it could simply be the need for feeling independent and like an adult, while for a younger child, it could be the irritability generated by their parents making them do things they don’t want to do.

One of the ways to communicate with an unresponsive child is to treat them like an individual with choices, provision of incentive and reward can trigger the need to finish the task for kids.

A one to one conversation with simple and direct language can make the given tasks more comprehendible and can be viewed as an option for them to do. Parents must learn to react correctly to their child’s ‘yes’ and no’s ‘ and make sure a mutually agreed dialogue is created.

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