Dr. Loveena Lama, MBBS, MS (Psychology)
Modern motherhood is quite different from what our mothers and our grandmothers experienced. Being everything to everyone, puts a lot of pressure on present day mom. From getting the kids ready for school, to prepare a healthy lunch, dropping the kids on time and shuttling them to various activities, these are just some tasks of a present-day mom, where we beat up ourselves ignore our own physical and emotional health. Rushing seems to be the baseline speed for mothers today.
Mommy usually struggles with a persistent feeling of being overwhelmed, exhaustion, not in control, or thoughts of underachievement during a day or a feeling of guilt on having snapped at kids.
Additionally, it’s a cultural thing where it is expected from a mother to put everything and anything together for the family, making sacrifices and still been judged by our society.
We are humans and learning for our mistakes come naturally to us, learning new behaviors is part of growing up. Even as parents, sometimes messy spaces bring sanity and taking a pause, breaking the monotony, can help you revive.
As mothers, we are little intuitive and predictive about our kids’ behaviors. Being a little proactive about any situation helps a long way. If I know my little one will give me a hard time getting up in morning, I will start the day 10 mins early to give a head start.
Create boundaries by compartmentalizing your day, do not let work life bleed in to your home space and vice versa. Set time boundaries for yourself and designating “mommy time” and “me time” is essential.
Adding nature to your daily life is a trick, walk with a friend, read a book in your garden or a park, deep breathing even for a couple of minutes in nature is inherently calming.
Help, but don`t over help; it is good to be there for your kids but it is crucial to know when to step back, and let the little minds work through some problems.
Talk to a mommy friend, who is in the same boat or has passed the stage, vent and laugh. Nurture your friendship, and recognize that there is a difference between online likes and in person relationship. Lastly but most importantly, never compare yourself with your contemporaries, this only adds on to the stress. Stress begets stress and it percolates to the family around.
Remember, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Every mother wears an unseen crown and only the queen knows the uneasiness. Don’t forget being the Queen and take all the uneasiness.