Dr. Himani Narula Khanna, Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician Director & Co-founder of Continua Kids
Parenting is not just about caring for the physical growth of a child- it is every bit about enhancing mental growth, too.
How difficult or easy parenting is
Parenting is an experience of raising kids to make them balanced adults. It cannot be calculated or measured as either easy or difficult. It is a moment to be lived with your child without any expectation/ consequences with love, affection, and care. So if giving unconditional love and your time is termed as difficult, then parenting is difficult. And if it is considered easy, then parenting is easy for you.
Also, there are no right and wrong in upbringing. Something which is right in one circumstance would be wrong in another circumstance even with the same child.
Secret to parenting
For every child, their parents are their role models. The secret is “Do “ and not “Tell”. You don’t have to describe the things to be done by them in words but rather perform them in action. They will definitely follow your performance, as parents are the eyes through which they see the world.
Their action/reaction to the world in the future is dependent on your present action and reaction to the situation. So just do the things as you want to get it done from them and give them the logical reasoning of your act.
Keep your eyes and heart open in each stage of parenting
Keep your eyes and heart open in each stage of parenting. A toddler needs your eyes for his physical activities, and a teenager needs your eyes for his mental activities. For a toddler, try to tell more and ask less whereas for an adolescent, try to ask more and tell less. An open heart is equally important to get to the right decision of what your eyes see. Although data collection through your eyes is a must, but equally important is the processing of the data through the heart.
Best ways to instill values and moral maturity in kids
We can observe multiple ways to introduce moral maturity and good values in kids. One of the early developing values which develop and go a long way according is empathy. Any moral value from empathy, to being truthful, respectful, and understanding all need to be role modeled by parents in day to day lives for children to automatically imbibe them. It applies to us in our small daily interactions and an early example and habitual process of this can influence the child in a positive way.
Mental health has become an increasingly important matter in the last decade and the current youth are predicted to be “better parents” due to their better understanding of the consequences of mental health as it’s an environment they have been brought up in and the matter is taken seriously.
Tips for parents
Growing kids are seen to have a rebellious streak where they may not listen to their parent’s demands and the tasks given to them. When it comes to teenagers, it could simply be the need for feeling independent and like an adult, while for a younger child, it could be the irritability generated by their parents making them do things they don’t want to do.
One of the ways to communicate with an unresponsive child is to treat them like an individual with choices, provision of incentive and reward can trigger the need to finish the task for kids, but also adults in a way.
A one to one conversation with simple and direct language can make the given tasks more comprehendible and can be viewed as an option for them to do. Parents must learn to react correctly to their child’s, yes and no’s. They have to make sure that a mutually agreed dialogue is created.