Mr. Indroneil Mukerjee, founder of All that Bach and Program director Relive
When it comes to connecting or relating to others, we often speak of receiving vibes. We sense receiving positive ‘vibes’ from those whom we tend to be drawn to and vice versa.
What does this word ‘vibe’, often used colloquially and casually, in our day-to-day communication refer to? Is it mere semantics or there is a deeper meaning?
Well, the word ‘vibe’ comes from vibrations. It denotes a certain energy that we sense coming from others to which we respond. It is not mere semantics. It is physics.
Our emotional state of being is naturally joyful and expanded. By nature, we are love-led and dwell in emotional states like affection, kindness, gratitude, compassion and forgiveness. However, in day-to-day life we most often let our habituated way of fear-led thinking about things alter our emotional states to becoming contracted, the likes of guilt, shame, anger, greed and possessiveness.
Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., an internationally renowned spiritual teacher, psychiatrist, physician, researcher and lecturer, developed this widely-known Map of Consciousness which depicts how the frequency at which our energy vibrates changes based on the emotions (– the level of consciousness) that we harbour at any particular point in time. When our thoughts, behaviours and feelings are love-led, the levels of consciousness are high and when it is fear-led it gets driven to those of lower frequencies. Some of these levels are more sustained while some others are transient. The overall level of consciousness thus for each individual is an aggregate of all the levels and denotes the vibration of the individual’s personality.
These levels of consciousness (and thus the corresponding ‘vibes’) affect the quality of our relationships. When we are vibrating at higher levels of consciousness, we tend to attract the innate love-led nature of others and instantly sense a connectedness, a bonding of sorts, the resultant energy getting compounded and multiplied. However, when we are vibrating at lower levels of consciousness, we not only repel others, but tend to influence them adversely with our negative vibes giving rise to negative emotions, in them too. Thus, when we are feeling despondent, everything, every person around and connected to us seem to be non-responsive and inert. Similarly, when we are angry, even though we may not have expressed it, the energy around seems to be getting charged leading to a fight (approach) or flight (avoidance) emotional reaction from others.
So, the most effective way to heal relationships, is raising the levels of consciousness – the vibrations of the one’s energetic presence. Even if one of the two partners in a relationship gets healed, the other gets healed by virtue of the energy radiating to the other, across time and space.
The simplest, safest and surest means of raising the vibrations is through Bach flower therapy. The therapy uses vibrational remedies made by capturing the unique energetic imprints of flowers of “higher energy” of certain wild trees and bushes. These vibrational remedies, when selected and ingested judiciously dissolve the low levels of consciousness like “snowflakes in sunshine” raising the overall vibration of the individual(s).
Here are some common blocks to living a joyful and healthy relationship mapped to possible remedies that may dissolve them:
Infidelity is an act of emotional and/or physical betrayal characterized by behavior that is not approved by the other partner and that has contributed to considerable ongoing distress in the non-offending partner.
Possible remedies that can heal are Chicory and Chestnut Bud (for the offending partner) and Star of Bethlehem, Willow, Holly, Pine and Crab Apple (for the non-offending partner).
INTIMACY RELATED ISSUES
Intimacy has also been conceptualized as a sense of self disclosure, sharing of one’s self and feeling closer to one’s partner. Intimacy is maintained by engagement in intimate conversation It is an important factor for psychological wellbeing and is linked to positive and satisfying relationships.
Possible remedies that can heal lack of intimacy are Chicory, Red Chestnut and Agrimony.
CLASH IN OPINION
Clash is part of any interpersonal relationship and occurs as a result of differences in opinions stemming from unmet needs, wants, and desires.
When one person needs or wants something badly enough, and the other person is unwilling or unable to meet that need, it leads to anger, intolerance and resentment. This can be aggravated by display of aggression and violence. Possible remedies that can heal are Holly, Willow, Beech, Vine and Cherry Plum.
Recurring conflict can also cause psychological pain that manifests in withdrawal and distancing, depression and anxiety. Possible remedies that can heal are Star of Bethlehem, Wild Rose, Red Chestnut and White Chestnut.
In the early stages of the relationship, it is common for couples to experience intense feelings of love, affection and a strong desire for one another. With time, external factors such as children and busy schedules can begin to have an impact on the sexual intimacy of the couple, often resulting in lack of interest, exhaustion, lethargy and even performance anxiety and sexual dysfunction with at least one of the partners. Coupled with this often develops a dislike for sex, even being touched.
Possible remedies that can enhance sexual intimacy are Larch, Hornbeam, Oak, Wild Rose, Elm, Crab Apple and White Chestnut.
In its simplest terms, a inter-dependent relationship is when one partner needs the other partner, who in turn, needs to be needed. This circular relationship is the basis of what is referred to as the “cycle” of codependency. The resulting relationship is not healthy and toxic, to say the least.
The co-dependent’s self-esteem and self-worth will come only from sacrificing themselves for their partner, who is only too glad to receive their sacrifices.
Possible remedies that can get partners to come out of co-dependance and become inter-dependent are Centaury and Chicory, Vine and Cerrato, Beech, Pine and Crab Apple.
A word of advice. In Bach Flower therapy it’s not the illness but the individual who is healed. As all individuals are unique, there are no one-size-fits-all solution. It is therefore recommended that the couple or at least one of partner consults a therapist to get the right composite, for maximum efficacy.